Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Mama Chicken talks to the animals

Okay, I admit it, I talk to my animals. I talk to them like I expect them to answer me. Sometimes I even supply their side of the conversations.
 "Bruno, are you a good boy?" "Yes, Mama, I'm a good boy. I really TRY to be a good boy Mama. I didn't mean to kill that chicken, Mama, I just wanted to see what it tasted like...again" "I bet it tasted like chicken...again."
 But usually I just hold up my own side of the conversation without any input from them.
 "Excuse me, chicks, those are my toes, they are not food." 
 "Girls, you know that styrofoam is NOT food, right?"
 "Would you please refrain from pooping in my hair while you sit on the top of my head?"
 "Yes, Bob, I hear you. You are the king high pooba of the coop. Now would you please shut up?"
 "Coco, if you don't decide to be my friend I WILL eat you! Goat is yummy." 
 "Larry, DO NOT try to bite the dog. He's bigger than you and he has actual teeth."
 "Bruno, did you get dropped on your head as a baby?"
 "My nose ring is ALSO NOT FOOD!!!"
 "I wouldn't kick you if you didn't get under my feet, Tiger."
 "Girls, could you please stop picking on the little ones? You didn't like it when you were the little ones and the bigger girls picked on you."
 "Mama bunny, please play nice with Daddy Bunny, I need some meat in my freezer."
 "Moonshine, that's no way to impress the girls, try being sweet instead of jumping out and attacking them."
 "If I don't get some eggs from you girls soon I am going to make the world's biggest pot of chicken soup. I could get in the Guinness Book of Worlds records."
 "Who layed this egg? This is the prettiest egg I've ever seen. You're such a good girl. You're exempt from the soup pot."
 "I am not a napkin, please don't wipe your beak on me." 
 "That IS NOT FOOD! Stop trying to eat that!!"
 "Eww, gross. Get your beak out of my ear."
 "Okay, okay, I'm coming. Geeze, you'd think I never feed you."
 "Princess if you don't leave my chickens alone I'm going to cook you and feed you to them."
 So, there you have it. Mama Chicken talks to the animals. 


  1. LOL...you have to talk to them! They think they are human. Didn't you know that? Consider it your social interaction....LOL! I have always talked to my animals. They talk back too. =)

  2. You are like the farm animal whisperer...except you don't whisper. Hahaha! This post was so funny I had to forward it to a friend. She said you should write for magazines :)